Buy a Brand New Porsche for £800!
If you’ve always thought Porsche leasing would remain a mere dream, then you’ll be excited to know that you can now buy one brand new for about £800!
You’ll not be quite so excited when you realise that the new Porsche P’9521 is not a car, though. It’s a phone – which suddenly makes it flippin’ pricey!!
The only people who will even be considering this, will probably have at least two Porsche cars already, and even more cash than they have vanity. That’s a lot of cash.
May 15, 2008 at 8:35 am | Porsche | No comment
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Small Big Porsche Thing – Where’s the TARDIS?
Porsches are not typically renowned for having a wealth of interior space. In fact, it’s historically been a bonus if you can get the driver inside – let alone a packet of Tic-Tacs to aid minty fresh breath for all those hot chicks you’re not going to meet as a result of owning one.
So the Cayenne does carry the small USP of being the only model in the lease Porsche line-up with the ability to accommodate a whole baguette with all the windows closed.
However, we all know that’s not why it came into being. Porsche were simply following a rapid growth sector in the market – rightly so; it’s not their fault that the SUV virus is spreading faster than a 1980s sexual disease.
But to add to the nonsensical nature of this gullible fad, they’re now following BMW in producing a smaller version. Just to clarify, that’s a SMALLER version of their purposely BIG model??! Am I missing the logic in this? It can only be for people who want the Cayenne (yes, such people exist, it seems) but can’t quite reach that deep into their pockets (see BMW X3 drivers).
Why is there no shame? Why are so many people brainwashed into thinking there’s any logical reason to spend so much money on such a comedy car?
I console myself by the notion that I’m stuck in an episode of Dr Who, where the baddies have infiltrated the Porsche company and are using it’s influence to implement an evil plan. The Doctor will soon be here to show everyone the true error of their ways and the story will end happily with a great moral lesson about the disastrous consequences of brand worship over the perpetuation of glorious human individuality and freedom of thought.
Sadly, though, I fear my theory is optimistic boll****. Look out for more silly Porsches on the roads.
May 10, 2008 at 4:21 pm | Porsche | No comment
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Apprentice Reject Porsche Sex Boast
Kevin “only gay in the village” Shaw, the latest victim of Sir Alan’s sausagey finger-pointing on BBC show ‘The Apprentice’, has been boasting about having sex in his Porsche.
I found it fairly hard to believe the idea that he has a Porsche, but the idea that someone would willingly have sex in it with him? Come on – animals and your own hand don’t count, Kevin.
I bet you’re all gagging to lease a Porsche now? Or maybe just gagging.
May 5, 2008 at 2:42 pm | Porsche | No comment
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Porsche Thieves Foiled by Flat Battery
Some scallies recently tried to pinch a Porsche from a house in Oxfordshire, but were scuppered by the car’s flat battery!
They broke into the address in Westland Road, Faringdon, and stole the keys to the Porsche and a BMW 728i.
Sadly, they escaped with the BMW, but the flat battery is still a satisfying ‘one in the eye’ for the thieving toe-rags!
Perhaps they don’t know about Porsche leasing – you don’t have to be able to afford to BUY one any more, you idiots!
May 2, 2008 at 8:04 am | Porsche | No comment
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